Sunday Ruminations Pt. 5

It's been 6 months since I've posted anything. Lockdown eased up, life got busier and I suppose I needed this less. Back then, this was such a therapeutic escape for me, to be able to sit down and process my thoughts and share them with people, particularly at a really lonely point of life.

Fast forward to today, lockdown is back on - cases on the rise again where I live.

Loneliness and growing despair are real. In so many ways, I feel like my life has gone back to the way it was in March. I'm back to teaching online, I am away from my family. I'm unable to see close friends for meals or walks.

Leslie Knope Mood of the Day

I have felt the need today to reflect on what I've learnt from the Bible in the past few days (limiting myself here, or else I'd write a novel) and ground myself in what I know to be true.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.

There are so many things there that I could speak to my soul. What stands out though is this urge to look not to what we can see, but to what is unseen. I'm such a finite being, I am so easily ruled by what I see and touch and experience. Yet here, Paul compels the Corinthian readers to not base their hopes (do not lose heart!) on what they can physically see and touch.

If I could extend this to myself,

"Cat, do not base your hopes on what you can see, do and feel."

Look to the things that are unseen for they are eternal.

• Jesus and the hope he gives is eternal.

• A loving relationship with my Heavenly Father is eternal.

• The efforts I make in the Lord for his Kingdom are eternal (1 Corinthians 15:58).

These realities are not things I naturally feel in my heart.

To be honest, right now I feel lonely. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to. I feel like what I do throughout lockdown is pointless.

But I KNOW that while it is important to acknowledge how I feel, it is even more crucial to process my feelings through the lens of the gospel. The truth.

Each feeling I listed above is outdone by a truth.

• I feel hopeless // Jesus and the hope he gives is eternal.

• I feel lonely // A loving relationship with my Heavenly Father is eternal.

• I feel like the things I do are futile // The efforts I make in the Lord for his Kingdom are eternal (1 Corinthians 15:58).

Cling to or look for something that is true beyond your feelings. I believe that this most true and most good truth (lol English teacher fail) can be found in Jesus.

I started writing this half an hour ago, feeling pretty meh. As I've been writing, I've been praying that this may be an encouragement to you in your meh-ness. I still feel meh. At the same time, I know I have hope beyond my wildest dreams.

K done rambling; it has helped me come to terms with what I'm going through right now, so thank you for reading <3 Let me know if I can be praying for you at this time!