Hello from a safe distance!

I'm pretty excited to be writing here. I'm definitely the kind of person to start new habits and give them up by day 3, so I'm not setting any expectations for myself here.

As I mentioned in the About section, I am using this space to help me think out loud. I suppose it would be helpful for me to explain my living situation and the um, global situation.

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Covid-19

The world is facing a foe that none of us have really dealt with in our lifetimes. When I stop and think about the sheer, ravaging force of Covid-19, it is pretty terrifying. This virus preys on the most vulnerable. People with existing health conditions. The elderly. But it goes beyond that, it preys on the poor, the socially disadvantaged who live from day to day. The kakaks that come to my home every Wednesday to clean it, the aunty I buy cendol from on the main road, or the man I met a couple of days ago, stranded far from home, sleeping on the street, begging me for money "Sister, please. Please." The Muslim refugees who attended that fateful tabligh, too terrified to self-report, for fear of being deported/jailed and separated from their families.

My heart breaks— Lord, you hear their cries.

And in that, I find peace. The God I have placed my trust in hears and deeply cares for the marginalized.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted

and saves the crushed in spirit.

[Psalm 34:18]

There is so much more I could say about the sheer hope I have in God, and I'm sure I will say it in other posts (if I do keep this up :D)!

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Malaysia

But back to the situation at hand, the Malaysian Government has enforced (is this the right term?) a Restricted Movement Order (RMO) to restrict the movement of the people (lol, thanks Cat). What this means is we are only allowed to leave our homes to do essential things, like getting groceries, petrol or going to the bank. Only one person per household is allowed to go and do those things. We also aren't allowed to go out recreationally, no one walk a day like the UK!

The RMO began on the 18th of March, and was meant to last until the 31st. However, as expected, our Prime Minister announced a few days ago that the RMO would extend to the 14th of April.

I went out today for my weekly grocery shop. The streets were eerily empty. I paid much closer attention to all the bird calls I could hear. I waved to the security guard at my workplace as I passed by, it was good to see a familiar face. Policemen and army men were out at roadblocks, ensuring that people were obeying the Order. Everyone in sight was wearing facemasks. A highlight of the trip was the man at the checkout counter. What a delight! He asked me how I was holding up and reassured me that he was doing okay and that all this would be over soon.

I walked home with a backpack on my front, one on my back and two reusable bags in both my left and right hand. Can I just say, doing that 10 minute walk in the midday sun was an incredible feat! And it actually made me glad to be back home! Whew!

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Home

I am staying in KL at the moment, about 4 hours away from my family. Part of my role at work includes being a warden to the students who are from other parts of Malaysia. So particularly at this time, when the students have specific needs, I am learning what the role of a warden really entails. There are only a few students left now; most have returned to their hometowns.

The view from my window almost makes up for not having a balcony!

In my apartment unit, I have one housemate, a delightful student who just started studying here in January. Her first language is Mandarin and so we have a good ol' time trying to communicate. Maybe I'll pick up some Chinese? (hah lol, who am I kidding?)

Life in the unit has been pretty pleasant and simple.

I work in the day, from 8am - 4pm. Marking a tonne of essays, hosting Zoom calls with my students (I am really enjoying the Breakout room function!!)

In the evenings, I usually make dinner with my housemate and we play a game or two. So far we've played Exploding Kittens, Ligretto, Whatever and Life!

I have loved catching up with people (near and far) through calls too! The Potatoes (uni mates) had our first call in 8 months! Bible studies and CHURCH on Zoom, what a time!

Despite all this, I still have a lot of time to myself. I have been challenged to really consider how I am spending it. Now that I supposedly have more free time, surely what I unconsciously gravitate towards is what I value most. And so far my natural tendency has been to endless scrolling on social media and a stupid line-linking game and not to prayer and reading the Bible and a handful of other great books I could be reading. This RMO has forced me to acknowledge that I love and worship my own comfort.

This is not a shocking revelation. Like a foolish child, I am inclined away from what will most nourish and fulfill me. But it's not about feeling guilty— there's no room for that anymore! As I repent and mourn my decisions, I know that on the cross, Jesus has taken away all the guilt and shame. He is the only one who can restore me to a relationship with God. So instead of feeling guilty and I ask that he take my heart and make it his, make my heart incline to him.

The brilliant St. Augustin always gets me with this line.

"Thou hast made us for thyself, O Lord, and our heart is restless until it finds its rest in thee."

So here's my prayer as I wrestle with my use of the time.

"Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it

Prone to leave the God I love

Here's my heart, oh, take and seal it

Seal it for Thy courts above"

Come Thou Fount

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Okay, this has really lived up to its name. I am a true rambler. I've talked about so many random things. And I could go on. But I will stop here.

Thank you for allowing me to process what's been going on in my head and in the world around me.

Lovelovelove,

Cat

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Mini Glossary

Kakaks: Although literally meaning big sister, in this case it refers to older women (but not too much older cos then it'd be makcik!)

Cendol: an iced sweet dessert that contains green rice flour jelly, coconut milk and palm sugar syrup - YUM!

Tabligh: Do correct me but I am referring to a gathering of 14,500 people in a Islamic Outreach event from the 27th of Feb to the 1st of March. I am not too clear on what the actual term means.