Sunday Rumination Pt. 1

This is a new weekly series where I intend to post short thoughts on something I've read in the week from the Bible in order to

a) Encourage myself to write regularly here and

b) Be more diligent with reading my Bible and spending time thinking through what I read.

It's hard to pick a highlight of the week cos there have been so many amazing things I've read and heard and thought about this week but here goes...

I have been so aware of the human capacity for darkness and negativity this week. Not so much by looking at the world around me, but more so because I've been spending a lot of time with myself lately. My thoughts are often selfish and self-motivated, I get easily frustrated with things that don't go according to plan. I have been really struggling to get motivated to do anything and yeah, bleh, it's been a tough time lately. But in the middle of this funk I was in, I read this;

Psalm 36:9

For with you is the fountain of life;

in your light do we see light.

This verse really stood out to me. I have been getting so frustrated at my lack of goodness/productivity/love/passion because I've been trying to birth these things out of myself. Futile. This verse has reminded me that life and light does not come from me. It comes from God.

He is the fount, the source of everything wonderful. The one I can count on when I continue to let myself down. This fountain flows and flows and doesn't run dry.

When I stand in the presence of His light, I see even greater light. I experience the opposite of myself, the light that exposes the darkness within and sends it running.

In my searching for a teensy match, the Light himself comes and ignites a roaring, glorious fire. One that illuminates my inadequacies but fills my heart and my life with beauty and purpose.

So yes, light does not come from me, but Light lives within me. God is with me in my feelings of unworthiness, unproductivity, and downright sinfulness. He chooses to live with me. I no longer have to feel a slave to the darkness, like I'm stuck with the way I am. Rather I know I can turn to the One who is banishing the grossness within and bringing forth a new self, one that is more like the light, each day.